Broken Heartbeat, Mend My Love
by beautyisabeast
Summary: Peeta's eyes widened as he looked at me. My heart fell as his eyes searched my face for confirmation. "No." he whispered. But it was too late. I felt the nightlock berries slide down my throat. They hadn't even hit my stomach yet.
1. My Last Breath

My last breath

*DISCLAIMER* I don't own any of the hunger games… just sayin'…

Hi everyone, this is

Chapter 1 My Last Breath of Broken Heartbeat, Mend My Love

I hope you like it- please read, and if you can, review!

_The overhead voice rang out again._

"_This year, we have two winners…"_

_Peeta and I looked at each other, before his eyes widened as mine drooped. He caught me under my waist as I fell backwards._

"_Katniss!" he screeched, one arm around my waist, and one on the side of my face, his thumb burning on my cheek. Our past conversation rang out in my head._

"_These berries will kill you before they even hit your stomach…"_

_Peeta dragged me to the water and splashed my face with it. With all the strength I had left, I looked at him, and I shook my head, confirming what he thought. It was no use. I took his hand into my own and squeezed it. I brought it to my lips, and kissed his shaking fingers, before placing his hand onto my heart. I sighed as he sank to the ground, not taking his eyes off of mine for one second. I moved my mouth, not able to make a sound loud enough. But he leaned forward, prompting me to try again._

"_Can you feel my heart Peeta?" I whispered. He looked at me and I realized that his blue eyes were glistening with tears._

"_It's beating so fast."_

_He brought his head down so it was buried in my shoulder, and then I felt his breath on my ear._

"_Katniss, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. It wouldn't have happened if I just died and… I… love you." When he said this, I felt millions of butterflies in my stomach. At first, I always thought that me and Peeta were just pretending- we weren't really a 'we'. But, now I was much more sure of what I felt. He pulled back, biting his lip and looking at me with a hopeful, yet failed look in his eyes. Then I saw how he looked different. He looked like he was glowing. All of my encounters of Peeta flashed my in that second- the first time I met him when he gave me the bread, the time that I caught him staring, the start of the hunger games, the confessions…_

"_I know Peeta. I love you too." I whispered back to him, for the first time, being fully truthful. He scanned my eyes, searching for the hint of the lie. The flicker of doubt that was telling him that this was only for the cameras. But he didn't find it. I shook my head, and smiled slightly, taking his flushed face into my hands. I kissed him and looked him in his bright blue eyes._

"_This is real love Peeta." I took his hand, and put it onto my heart again, before repeating myself._

"_This is real love."_

"_This is real love…" I whispered a third time, before letting out my last breath._


	2. I'll Come Back for You

Hi everyone, thank youb so much for all of your reviews! Keep 'em coming, but in the meantime, here's chapter two!

Broken heartbeat, Mend my love

I'll come back for you

_**Peeta**_

"This is real love…" she whispered before closing her eyes , for what would be the last time.

"No…" I breathed, blinking repeatedly for both, not wanting tears to come out, and to try and wake up from this torturing nightmare that I was having. Because that's what I hoped it was- just a nightmare. But it wasn't. I looked at her, so peaceful and calm, as if in her REM sleep. But she wasn't sleeping. I buried my face, sticky with tears into her shoulder, and began to sob gently. Even then, I could smell her hair- the mango and raspberry shampoo scent had lingered in the soft brown strands of hair tangled gracefully into a plait cascading down her shoulder. Then I knew what she would have wanted. Slowly, as if not to bruise her fragile body, I lay her head on my lap and began to run my fingers gently through her hair, un-plaiting her plait in the process. You'd think that it would be tangly, and messy, but as I splayed her hair across her shoulders, her gentle curls only looked more soft and defined. I lent over, and dipped my hands into the water and washed the mud off her face. Even in death, her face glittered. I turned and saw a bush of flowers. Slowly, I picked out some of the orange and yellow flowers and began to wind them into her hair. When I finished, I sat back so everyone could see. You could feel the audience gasp at the sight. Katniss was- no is beautiful. And I wanted everyone to know that.

I felt something wet roll down my cheek. I let the tear fall, unaware that I had started to cry, and honestly, not caring. I pulled Katniss up toward me again, careful not to disturb the flower arrangement, and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Oh Katniss. I love you…" I whispered while pressing my forehead against hers.

"I know…" I heard her voice echoing in my head.

_**Sorry for the cliffhanger, but you all know what speeds up writing the next chapter- yep, you betcha, reviews! Thank you!**_


	3. Let me help you

**Hey everybody, I just want to thank all of you for reviewing! I am so grateful to all of you for encouraging me to write more, and thank you especially to my friends _RuneScapien _and _HorribleHistories3,_ for always being there for me, and for keeping their promises and reading my fanfic. Thanks guys, you're the best!**

**But to all of you people that I don't even know- well, you guys are giving me this much appreciation, and you don't even know me! Thank you so much! *Okay, I'm getting emotional.* okay, enough of the soppy stuff, now down to business.**

**So I just want to respond to LivingReminder who reviewed, and also advised me not to make Peeta go crazy. I just want to let everyone know that I will not make him go crazy- if I'm honest, that hasn't even crossed my mind. But, I hope that you do like this other path I'm going to take.**

**Also, I just want to let you guys know that for all of you Gale and Katniss shippers, you will be meeting Gale in say, the next few chapters. So stick around! And as usual, reviews are my fuel- the more you review, the faster I type! I'm waiting! thanks and I hope you like this chapter!**

Chapter 3

Let me help you

_Peeta_

I sat with Katniss in my arms for a while. I didn't hear anyone come into the arena till I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder, and heard a melancholy voice in my ear.

"Come on son. Let her go now." I vaguely recognized the voice, but all I could see was my arms covered in Katniss's hair. Then I felt arms trying to pull her off me. I starting to shout and pull her away from the arms, but they seemed to be coming from everywhere.

"Peeta, come on now, think about it! You need to let her go!"

I didn't know who the voice was coming from, and at this point, I didn't even care. All I could think about right now was these hands trying to pull Katniss away from me, into the deep, darkness.

"STOP." The voice shouted, and the arms stopped where they were. They retreated as the voice said something more low, something that I couldn't hear. Satisfied that the arms were staying there, I pulled Katniss in for a hug, and just held her close. The voice said

"Peeta, you've got a couple of minutes left to say goodbye. Do you understand?"

I nodded.

"Good. Well, I'll… I'll leave you to it."

I knew that I only had a couple of minutes left, but the only way that I wanted to spend these last few minutes, was with her in my arms. After holding her against me for a while, I sighed, and let her go a little. I put her on the ground, and sensed that my time was running out. I smoothed the hair back from her head, and brushed away my tears that had fallen onto her cheeks. I leant down and gently, only brushing, let my lips touch her forehead. I kept my face level with hers as I whispered my final good bye.

"Katniss… sweetheart, I love you so, so much. Wherever you are now, I just… I just want you to be happy." I sniffed. " I'll find Prim. And your mother, and Gale, and everyone. And I'll tell them how brave you were. I don't know if they'll ever forgive me. But I hope they will. Katniss…baby, I love you…"

As she was lifted, and carried out of the Cornucopia, I put my three fingers to my heart, and I lifted, pointing them towards her. I felt everyone stand, and put their hands out toward her as well, and I felt so proud of my baby. I felt so, so proud of Katniss.

The next thing I knew, I was inside my room, in my bed. There was a knock at the door.

"Knock knock…" I rolled out of bed, not feeling anything at all. I opened the door halfheartedly and looked outside. It was Haymitch.

"Hey there sonny, I just wanted to see how you were er…" he trailed off as he saw the state of my bedroom. It had been less than a day since Katniss had… well, left us. I crawled back into my bed and groaned, implying that Haymitch leave me alone.

"Oh, come one boy, what's wrong with you?" he leaned down into my face, and surprisingly, I couldn't smell the alcohol on his breath. Then, he whispered something into my ear- low and soft, and if I didn't listen, I wouldn't have heard at all.

"Meet on the roof in 3 minutes. I have something you might want." I knew well enough not to show any reactions- the whole place could be bugged by now. I expected Haymitch to add something, but he suddenly got straight up, and smacked my shoulder. I flinched at his touch; however, he didn't seem to notice. He went on about how the meals seemed to be getting better and better, but I knew that this was a cover up. I kept my eyes trained on the brown board next to my bed, and when I heard the door shut, I realized that he had gone. Slowly, I dragged myself towards my pile of clothes that were dumped on my floor.

I met Haymtich on the roof within the next couple of minutes. I dropped myself down next to him and put my head into my hands.

"It's really nice out today, isn't it? I thought that it would rain, but it hasn't yet. But it will. Look. Look, ever there. Can you see Peeta?" he pointed out towards the horizon. "There's a storm coming. A huge one."

I started to get frustrated. Did he really call me up here so he could make small talk? Right now, I really did not want to talk about the weather right now.

"What do you want Haymitch?" I practically growled.

"Well, don't try to tip toe around my feelings!"

"Just shut up and get on with it."

Suddenly, his voice dropped in pitch, and in octave.

"The last few years have been really hard for me. What with all of those contestants, and year after year of them just disappearing inside the Hunger Games… well, I've had a hard time, and well, the Capitol kept loading me with drugs to keep me… alive. One year, it was particularly hard. That year, I went to the end and back… literally. That year, was the year that they made the Longentity drug- or the LIFE drug. It brings you back to life Peeta."

For some moments, I was speechless. I did not know what to say. So I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"Why are you telling me this Haymitch?"

"Because I kept them. After all these years, I kept them, for no particular reason, and I want you to have them. Please." He got up, and shook my hand, saying good-bye, and slipping something into them at the same time. I closed my hands around the tiny pills, and started to make up my plan.

Haymitch was right. A storm had come. The rain was pattering down on my windows, and it almost felt like I was back in the Hunger Games, in the cave, with Katniss in my arms. But that's what I didn't have. Katniss in my arms. But I was going to get her. I ran outside, eager to get into the hospital sector, where they were keeping Katniss until they moved her into the morgue. I quickly entered, and stood at one end of the long, empty room, my eyes searching for my love. Finally, I found her, and as soon as I did, I ran up to her. I looked down at her, and noticed a stray hair. Cinna had put make up on her- her burial was going to be televised, so she was supposed to look as beautiful as she could. I kissed her on her forehead, before pulling the drugs out of my pocket. I dropped it into her mouth, and sat her up, making sure that it went down her throat. Haymtich didn't tell me how long the whole process was supposed to take, so I took my chances, and pulled up a chair next to her bed. After a few hours of watching her, I felt my eyelids start to droop. I knew I shouldn't sleep, but I couldn't help it. I leaned down, and rested my head on the side of her waist, and let myself drift off to a dream world, a beautiful dream-world where my love and I walked hand-in-hand down a sunsetting beach.


	4. Gale?

Gale?

_**Peeta**_

My head felt heavy and dull. I opened my eyes and squinted through them, not knowing where I was. The sun was peeking through the window, and it smelt of anti-bacterial bleach. I managed to pull one eye open enough to see that I was in the 'hospital' area. My head was in the same position as it was last night- ooh, that's gonna hurt… I dragged my head up, and rubbing my neck. I ran my hand through my hair, and dragged it down my face, to try and give myself a makeshift clean up. I let my head drop down into my hands, and I gently massaged my temples. In this calm 5 minute darkness, I let all of my worries fade, and found myself in a world of carefree breaths, and nothing tying me down.

But it all vanished when I heard the door slam. My eyes snapped open, and I looked up. I heard stomping towards us, and then I saw the figure of a young man in the glass. Our door opened, and a tall guy with a broad build and dark features entered the small room. He looked familiar, but after everything that happened, I didn't even expect myself to remember. It was probably someone that we saw on the way back, or maybe someone from the Capitol. But as he leaned down, I knew that he must have been more than that, because of the practiced hold that he had on Katniss. He took her gently by the shoulders and squeezed them. At this soft touch, I was immediately by her side, although he didn't seem to notice that I was even there. I had no idea where any of this was going, even when he leant down, and kissed her full on the lips. Suddenly rage and fury coursed through my veins. What was going on? How dare he kiss Katniss? And in front of me? I was the one who had just declared my love for her, not this wannabe from- wherever he came from!

"Hey buddy, watch it, that's my girlfriend!" I exclaimed as adrenaline pumped through me, nearly making me shake. But he seemed to ignore me, and carried on kissing her. And for what happened next, I'm sorry, but I had completely lost control.

"Hey, what are you doing, I told you to WATCH IT!" I shouted the last part, not being able to keep it down any longer. I felt my hands fly up and shove him off of her, and against the wall. I walked over to him, and felt my fist connect with the side of his face. All I could think about was the way that he was touching katniss- his hands were all over her, and he was practically eating her face off. I went to hit him again, but this time, he put his arms up over his face to protect him. They were strong- I'll give him that. String enough to push me off of him when I swung again. This time it was his fist. It hit my left should and sent me tumbling, knocking a tray containing a metal jug, and two glasses. As they smashed, I fell, embedding half of the clear solid into my hands. The boy leapt on top of me, and I wildly thrashed my hands above me, and his pressure on them pushed the glass even further in, cutting him in the process. I cried out in pain, as he grunted and retreated pretty quick. He wiped the blood off of his face, and I saw him clearly for the first time. He seemed to remind of something- district 12, home, Katniss… those grey eyes… just like Seam eyes-

"Gale?" I said questioningly, with a hint of shock and loads of displeasure, and thinking- 'I hope not!' unfortunately, the boys eyes shot up, confirming my suspicions. Yep, just as I thought. As if I didn't have enough things to deal with.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I've come to see Katniss." He replied defensively. His deep voice complimented his dark, brooding features, and I saw why lots of girls would fall for him. His dark, tanned skin compared to my light, pale complexion, his brown, groomed hair, compared to my messy blonde curls were in no competition for looks- he'd probably win anyway. But I still didn't see why he was better for Katniss than I was.


	5. The blood on my fingers

Hi everyone, I'm so so sorry for the long wait for this chapter, I tried to make it long, but I really don't have the time! You know, tests and exams, whether it's GSCEs or SATS, I really feel for you guys! The next chapter should be up fairly soon, *hopefully!*, but for now, I hope you enjoy this one!

Oh, and thank you so much for the amazing reviews, you guys really help me write with a bit more confidence than I would without them!

The blood on my fingers

_**Peeta**_

I sat as I tried to take it all in. Gale was back. I couldn't believe it. Everything was going to be okay, then he showed up. He was sitting next to Katniss, caressing her and speaking to her, in a calm, soothing voice.

"It's not going to work you know, she can't hear you." I said to him a couple of minutes ago, but he went on talking like I wasn't there. I was leaning against the wall watching them from a distance. I was in the room up until a few inutes, when I just couldn't stand how close they were. It just made me sick how he could come in, after all that, and kiss her like nothing had happened. If he really loved her, he would have volunteered for me! Of course, I wouldn't have let him- I loved her already. Before we went into the Hunger Games- after I knew it was Katniss and I- I made a vow to myself that I would always protect her, and I would not let anything happen to her. I looked up now, to see her in the hospital bed, with Gale by her side.

"_I promise, I will not let anything happen to her…"_

But I did. Katniss was in danger, and it was because of me. She could have died… and I would not be able to anything about it.

I looked down at the blood on my fingers. This wasn't my blood- it was hers.

_**Katniss**_

It is beautiful. It is all so beautiful. There are so many flowers, and pretty grass that is glittering in the sunshine. I am… I don't know where I am, but I know that I have never felt this good being lost. I feel amazing- like I'm floating on the earth. Why do I feel this good?

I look around me- I see some people in the distance. I want to shout, but it feels rude, it a place like this, to disrupt it's serenity by shouting. So I just walk calmly to where the people are.

It doesn't take me long- or does it? I can't tell how long I've been walking- I just feel so great! But as I get closer, I see that it is a group of children. Well, it isn't a group, it's only a two. There is a boy and a girl. They are both talking to each other, but the boy is looking at the girl differently. Like she is his prey. I am frightened- I want to go, but something keeps me close. I don't know why he is looking at her like that. She says something, and the look on his face goes away- they are talking now.

Suddenly, the boy sees something. The look on his face returns as he runs towards a certain area of the grass. He beckons the girl to come with him- no don't go with him- I don't know what's going on, he looks deadly-

He dives with a knife, and the girls follows. He looked scary, just like a predator for a kill, and I was scared. But he stood up with blood all over his face. The girl was nowhere to be seen. He held up a small bloody part, and I was frightened, but the girl stood up. It wasn't her- it seemed like a rabbit. I was right- the look was like a predator, he did go for a kill. It just scared me that he looked at the girl in the same way…

Then I looked at them again. The boy was Gale, and the girl was… was me.

I turn away quickly, not able to deal with what I see. But I see two other children, around the same age.

I think it is Gale again, so I run to warn myself, but as I look, I see that this boy has bright, blonde hair. His eyes are blue, and he has rosy cheeks. The look on his face is different- the look on his face is pure love.

He looks at, well, mini me, and I see that he is giving me something. It is all black. It looks like a loaf of bread… or 2…

It seems like a petty gift- a loaf of bread. Something that someone can throw at a homeless person, or feed to the ducks. But the way the boy gives it to me, it is like a diamond from a beach of stones, or a rose from a garden of thorns. He hands it over, his eyes are full of love, they plead for me to stay. But he knows I must go and as I watch myself turn around, I see his eyes, shimmering, watching me with hope. There is a label for him- Peeta. But what does it mean?

I don't know who I am. I don't know where I am. That floating feeling is gone- now there is fear and a hole where my heart feels like it is supposed to be. There is an aching inside my chest. I think back to what seems are the memories. The fear deepens as I recall Gale, treating me like his prey, making me feel inferior. I don't like this feeling.

But when I think of Peeta, the small blonde boy giving me a loaf of bread, the aching goes away, and fills with deep emotion that burns, but doesn't hurt. I don't know what this feeling is, but when I stop thinking of him, it goes away and the pain comes back.

I don't know who I should trust. The bread boy or the predator.


End file.
